Forums / The hangaround / Flame Warriors - VU Style (2)

Frederick was talking of his old fights with Raist on the forum and it reminded me of the old thread on the personas in VU. So i'm making a re-hash on people who I know in VUfrom now, or even some from the past.

(Please don't take offence, it was meant as light--hearted-humour, oh and it's fairly long.)

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BANEHALLOW

Enfant Provocateur likes to stir up trouble because...because, well...just because. This species of Flame Warrior is almost always young and male - it could be just a hormone thing.

ERPIU

Acne constantly whines about how, like... his life and everything really sucks and stuff. Usually a middle class teenager with an allowance, unlimited access to a computer and WAY too much time on his hands. Acne's vague existential arguments about the meaningless of life and emptiness of existence are culled from the lyrics of the 20 gigs of MP3s he has squirreled away on his hard drive.





ZETA

Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, nanny on steroids. Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky.





BINH

Android doesn't anger, nor does he engage in actual combat, rather he will merely point out the logical inconsistencies of other Warriors. Irony and sarcasm are completely lost on Android, and being impossible to insult or injure in any way, he is invulnerable to conventional attack. If, for example, someone were to call him a pinhead, he would get out a tape measure and after finding that his cranium falls within normal size specifications Android would dismiss the comment as erroneous.





FORDIUS

Is it just you or does this guy seem to babble on and on without making any sense whatsoever? Does he lurch from one non sequitur to another? Are you baffled by his obscure metaphors? Are there so many typos you think that maybe he was typing while wearing a catcher's mit? Can he really MEAN what he just said? What in the hell is hey talking about, anyway? Is this guy smoking something? Well, yes...in fact he is, and lightly tethered in orbit high above the Earth Bong remains far beyond the grasp of the even the most powerful of Warriors.

GHOUMA

Troller is looking for a response...ANY response, and he will chum the waters with complaints, insults, compliments, and inflammatory tidbits hoping that someone...ANYONE, will take the bait. Generally quite harmless - practices a form of catch and release. Nonetheless, he can upset the delicate ecology of a discussion forum. Once a forum becomes aware of his presence, however, all feeding activity ceases and Troller must move on to more promising waters.





TOBLERONEX

Grammarian usually has little to contribute to a discussion and possesses few effective weapons. To compensate, he will point out minor errors in spelling and grammar. Because of Grammarian's obvious weakness most Warriors ignore him.





DEVI

Apparently there is no joke too lame, too lurid or too inappropriate for Yuk Yuk, and he's absolutely determined to share with you every gobbet of stale drollery, every tired urban legend and every goofy web site on the internet. Yuk Yuk seldom contributes to any discussion, preferring instead to forward witticisms and bon mots culled from his voluminous archive. Of course, should other Warriors object to his off topic inanities they are accused of lacking a sense of humor.

DEAD1

Impostor is a digital Proteus who improvements his persona whenever it suits his purposes. That 21 year old co-ed from Arizona State you met in a discussion forum may, in fact, be a retired steel worker from Pittsburgh. Impostor will claim to be black, white, rich, poor, young, old, straight or *beep*, and if he's good he can pull it off - at least for a while. Of course, there are sinister, even criminal reasons Impostor would lie about who he is, but more often he fakes it to lend weight to his arguments, or simply to amuse himself. Impostor's requisite imagination and good writing skills can make him a formidable enemy, but even the best Impostors will eventually blunder and reveal their true identity. Once uncovered, Impostor always flees the field, but he may return in another form - you just never know...

QUIETONE

Fragile Femme is very needy and insecure and regards the discussion forum as her personal support group, and will lash out when her feelings are not "validated" by the others. Fragile Femme will often refer to the forum participants as her "family" and becomes distraught at disharmony of any kind. She regards a minor disagreement with her as devastating personal assaults and will often dissolve into hysteria when confronted.





COBRA

Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in cyberspace he is free to be himself...without the risk of getting a real-time punch in the mouth

FREDERICK AND RAISTLIN

In a perpetual personal feud, Duelists generally don't menace anyone but each other, unless, of course, another Warrior foolishly gets between them. They may not even remember what started the fight, but not they cordially loathe one another and seize every to go at each other.

SWIFTY

For Ego, the discussion forum is all about him, and he regards discussions that stray from that topic as trivial dalliances. Although tolerant of an occasional shift in focus, Ego grows increasingly restive when the forum's attention shifts away from his interests, and he will often provoke conflict to reestablish himself as the subject at hand. Ego is one the the fiercest of all the Warriors and will fight to the death when attacked.

ROXBURY

Evil Clown is very quick with a joke, but his jests always have a barb. He has little patience for in-depth discussions and will often disrupt eximprovements between serious forum participants by introducing irrelevant topics, fatuous quips, and offhand comments. His greatest thrill is to taunt and humiliate weaker or more plodding Warriors with his snappy ripostes. Not a particularly powerful Warrior, Evil Clown will attempt to avoid defeat by accusing his attacker of having no sense of humor.

KFT

Eagle Scout is a positive, constructive Warrior who endeavors to submit original articles which contain useful content and relevant information with supporting citations and links, thus initiating meaningful discussion threads. Eagle Scout regards the internet as an uplifting, egalitarian, worldwide arena for the exchange of ideas among intelligent, thinking individuals. He does not openly attack, but will (ever tactfully) chastise disruptive comments, gratuitous insults and cretinous insipidity.

HAMISH

Garble is a mystery: Is he a foreigner with only tenuous grasp of English? Is he on drugs? Does he suffer a serious mental debility? Is he typing wearing boxing gloves? Garble's rampant typos, malapropisms and execrable grammar can't be blamed solely on poor typing skills. Garble is all the more puzzling because if one manages to hack his way through the tangled muddle of his messages a discernable idea will often emerge.

ARIEN

Warriors often underestimate Toxic Granny's fighting abilities. She can be very aggressive, and because of the deference paid to the elderly, not only does Toxic Granny easily attract allies to aid in her defense, but her foes are reluctant to employ their strongest weapons against her. Prudent Warriors avoid confrontations with Toxic Granny because there is ignominy in defeat and no glory in victory.





KRUM

Nanny tirelessly monitors forum discussions to make sure that everyone behaves. Though he is quick to admonish for off-topic messages and petty squabbling, he is generally slow to anger. Rather than wading into pitched battles, Nanny simply pulling the plug on combatants and bans repeat offenders.

HIGHWAYMAN

Although sometimes a male, Crybaby is usually a female, and often a close ally of innocence abused When teased or attacked Crybaby will pitch a loud public temper tantrum, holding her breath and kicking her feet. If that defense fails she will run to nanny for comfort.

KIMJIM

Wily and very secretive, Perv isn't actually a genuine Warrior in the strictest sense; he isn't interested in combat psychology, fighting tactics or even winning battles, and he couldn't care less about the subject under discussion - all he REALLY wants to know is what you are wearing.

AUSPICE

Target is the guy everyone in a forum loves to hate. He brings this upon himself; he may be a known cheater in a game forum, a conservative among liberals, a Windows guy among Mac enthusiasts, or even a man in a women's forum. Why Target places himself in such dicey situations is anyone's guess, but he seems genuinely oblivious to the danger. When Warriors unleash their collective fury upon him his usual reaction is "Hey, what did I do?" or "Why do you all hate me?" Target eventually gets the hint after a while and moves on.

SPOOKY

Strumpet finds sex talk completely irresistible and constantly forwards excruciatingly unfunny and lurid jokes to the discussion forum. She always manages to sprinkle conversations with references to private parts and will never let pass without comment any mention of the words "eat," "enter," "come," "rub," etc. She disregards the women and flirts with all the men, often bragging that she has a husband or boyfriend that expertly satisfies her putatively voracious sexual appetite, but forum members....er, participants...quickly conclude no husband or boyfriend exists. Should any Warrior challenge her directly Strumpet will disparage her attacker's sexual orientation and/or penis size. CAUTION: Strumpet may be a man.




SALAMON

Sycophant differs from me-too in that he is much more concerned with sucking up than he is with actually doing battle. Of course, he WILL engage in some light combat to impress Big Dog and other stronger Warriors, but he never exposes himself to unnecessary danger. Although combatants sometimes employ Sycophant to buttress an attack, his constantly shifting loyalties make him a weak and unreliable ally.




BENJAMIN

A weak Warrior with few weapons at his disposal Compost flings expletives and vulgarities to keep his opponent at bay. This tactical maneuver can occasionally rout especially sensitive combatants, such as Innocence Abused, but it is generally ineffective against more powerful Warriors. Nanny has little stomach for Compost's ordure and will quickly ban him from the forum.

(Edited by Mr. Hungry Horse 11/15/2006 5:32:15 PM)

Lol ... Keep them coming

Blimey - not sure I can live up to that reputation.....  :D

The picture is a great likeness though - you been lurking outside my window AGAIN?

Hahaha... nice! <3

spooky, why are there only unknown and meaningless ppl in your list? :o

I'm Mr. Foamy, u may have heard of me? (I hope so!)
I slaughtered a lot of newbs this era.

My attempts at sarcasm (or is it irony?) aren't really succeeding today are they?

Actually, they are Spooky, I found them very funny, I played on your respond the respond I did earlier, but Schlupfguhl beat me there before I had done it ready.

I must say, I enjoy your sarcasm/irony.

On Topic: More more more, I need my fix. Gaaah!

Sorry Dingo it was supposed to be those in the Alliance that I have played with for several eras and got to know.  Fajardo played with me in Whisper.  I may do some more later.  :)

I think Spooky and Ariens should be swapped, thats just my opinion. Mine fits pretty good, but Quietones fits the best, lol. Sorry hun, but we still love ya.

Although I think Ford stole my joint.

(Edited by Mr. Master Shake 11/16/2006 4:13:36 PM)

Your's fits pretty good Devi? Pretty good? What about SPOT ON?

I still remember that teddy bear joke you told me, you dirty fcuker!

SIXTY

Hard though it is to believe, there is someone more messy than you or me. That person is Mr Messy. His garden is overgrown and his washing up is never done. His floor is so covered with things that you can barely open his front door. Mr Messy is the messiest person in the world. He spends FAR too much time playing VU and has been known to time his journeys home from work to coincide with tick change.

Yay.. i dont got any picture :D

Mielo

I believe the picture says it all..

Dirty flames..

Hell yea, I want everyone to do one about me, altough, I want a nice little text to go with it as well:)

fank god I'm not in here :P

We dont need british humor here freakin horse

yes you nub! Britain FTW

you nub

Arzun....i dont know either.

lol a lot of you guys have had the same name for quite a while

No. Fun is prohibited on this forum. I refuse to make any more Flame Warrior posts, to abide to Chief Wiggums despotic moderation.

wow..that Hungry Horse guy is a real cool dude!!!

Yeah Dave and that Spooky chick was pretty cool too don't you think?